21st Century Orc Read online

“You’re welcome,” muttered Asshole. He glanced at Bones and sighed before letting Gore’s brother rush to her side. “Where do you think? To whoever wins this race. That’s why I can’t let you race, Bones. The Warchief won’t like it if the girls go to one orc. Especially if that one orc happens to be named Bones Tornfar.”

  Gore gulped and turned back to Debbie, shaking her head. Then she strode up to Bones, grabbing his arm, and hissed, “We’re gonna rescue them.”

  “Sure. Fine. Fine!” yelped Bones, “Just give me a moment…”

  More like five. Then at last, Bones turned to Asshole.

  “You said you wouldn’t give these to me. What about to Momma G?” asked Bones, pulled his sash from his shoulder and flashing the emblazoned flower in front of Asshole’s face.

  The massive orc raised an eyebrow and asked, “Who?”

  “Momma G. She’s a new boss. Just formed a gang in the Narrows.”

  “That’s Warboyz territory…” said Asshole, though he rubbed his chin. Gore frowned, searching for any sign of thought. “Hm… I have been hearing some rumors lately about a new gang in that district. Killing Iron Breakers, Squirrels and Warboyz… You sure you want to take on the Warchief?”

  “Hehe… she’ll take on all the gangs soon enough. I’d offer you a job but I know how much you love the Warchief.” Bones rubbed his hands together. “So how about it, Asshole? Let me race in the name of Momma G.”

  Silent for over a minute, Asshole huffed, “Hmph. Fine. But you got a third driver? This is a team race. You need at least three people to participate.”

  “Oh come on, Asshole… Gore and I are worth more than the rest of these chum combined,” stated Bones, loud enough for the crowd to hear. A large boo erupted in response.

  Gore gave them all two fingers.

  A bemused expression on his face, Asshole just shrugged. “Sorry. Just doing my job.”

  “No. I think you’re just being an anal asshole.”

  “That’s redundant,” said Asshole, sighing. “Look. You gotta have three people. Or the Warchief will have my head. Along with the rest of my body.”

  Inner fire curling her hands into fists, Gore snarled. She glanced at Debbie and the other girls in the cages. She would rescue them. The obvious route was to pick the lock and free the girls. But… Gore looked at Asshole and the other Warboyz surrounding the tower. She shook her head. She needed to be realistic about these things.

  That left freeing the girls by winning the race. But Gore needed to find a way to enter the race first. And who would join Gore and Bones? She doubted she could find anyone willing in the crowd. Much less someone smart and experienced enough to help the siblings win.

  Gore glanced at Debbie and cursed. Then she blinked as the solution struck her in the head.

  “You have one of Momma G’s girls,” growled Gore, striding up and jabbing a claw into Asshole’s neck.

  The other orcs aimed their weapons at Gore but she didn’t flinch. Instead she continued her bluff, snarling, “That dwarf belongs to Momma G. She’s part of our team. If you don’t let her join us in the race, Momma G’s gonna make you pay.”

  Asshole laughed, “What? You think I’m afraid of some upstart boss? The Warchief’ll crush this Momma G if she were to even think about going to war with us.”

  “Your choice. But how would the Warchief like it if the Narrows went up in flames because of your actions,” mused Bones through a haze of Blight bug. “Momma G might not be strong yet. But she’s got a elchite quad large enough to bring down the entire city with her if she wanted. Again. It’s your choice.”

  Scoffing, though he scratched his chin, Asshole stayed silent for another minute before he said, “Whatever. Not like you guys are gonna win or anything. Fine. Take the dwarf and race.”

  “Much obliged,” smirked Bones as Taint unlocked Debbie’s cage and tossed the dwarf into Gore’s arms.

  Gore stumbled back, grunting under the dwarf’s surprising weight.

  “Thanks,” whispered Debbie, clutching Gore with trembling arms. For a single heartbeat, the dwarf’s mask slipped.

  “Don’t mention it. Just returning the favor,” Gore whispered back. She hugged Debbie tight, then let go and stood up. “But we’re not out of the Blight yet.”

  “Now then… seems we got everyone here…” said Asshole. He slapped Butt-monkey on the head and growled, “Start the race.”

  “Hahahaha!” crowed Butt-monkey as he hopped onto a piece of rubble, carrying a large speaker and guitar with him. The small orc slashed his claws across the strings and unleashed an explosion of sound. The air shaking around her, Gore’s teeth rattled as she clutched her ears. “Let the race begin! Infinite laps through the factory! Last one standing wins! Contestants! Go to the starting line!”

  “That’s our cue,” said Gore, grabbing Debbie’s hand and leading her to the Magnum Orcus. Gore gestured for the dwarf to follow Bones’s example and find a seat on the Magnum Orcus’s back. “Just try to hang on.”

  “What?” gasped the dwarf as she climbed onto the Magnum Orcus’s scarred back.

  Gore opened the driver seat and said, “Bones, meet Debbie. Debbie, meet my older brother, Bones.”

  “What?” Debbie asked again. Then she blinked and shook Bones’s hand. “Nice to meet you!”

  “Nice to meet you too, sweet D-d-debbie,” laughed Bones as he inhaled another draft of Blight bug.

  “What?”

  Pulling a pair of goggles out from the gauntlet compartment, Gore rolled her eyes and snarled, “Stop playing with her, Bones, and keep her out of danger.”

  “We can’t have any deadweight,” retorted Bones. “So excuse me if I’m gonna teach her how to help us survive.”

  “Fine.”

  Gore pulled on her goggles. A fierce grin split her face. The Magnum Orcus rumbled beneath her feet as Gore drove up to the starting line, in between the Squirrels and the Iron Breakers’ vehicles. The beast rumbled within its metal cage. Ready to be unleashed.

  “You ready?” asked Gore, glancing to the back of the Magnum Orcus, through the machines and wires cluttering the driver seat.

  “Nope,” chirped Bones, pulling out his glint-powered scryer. He tapped the flat piece of obsidian, pulling up a few text messages. Gore raised an eyebrow at the hearts surrounding the name Riri. Who was that? “I just need to make one quick text message to Riri.”

  “What?” demanded Gore.

  “And… done.” Bones scrambled to the front and leant over the edge. His grin lit up the darkness. “Just like old times, sis. Just like old times…”

  “Just shut up and let me drive, you cunt,” snarled Gore, hands tapping on the wheel, feet itching to smash down on the accelerator.

  Then Bones turned to Debbie and laughed, “Haha. You’re in for a treat. Watch out. Gore is a demon behind the wheel.”

  Gore growled.

  Then the guitar riff swelled like tsunamis in a Leviathan’s wake and Butt-monkey’s voice ripped through the air, “On my mark! Three! Two! ONE! GO! LET’S GO TO WAR!”

  At the orc’s words, the tower exploded in noise and light and savage fury, painting the night sky red and white for a brief moment. The crowd cheered. The earth shook. Butt-monkey screamed. Engines rumbled.

  Gore laughed and pressed down on the accelerator.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  Drive

  The Magnum Orcus roared forward ahead, skimming across the sand and dodging in between wreckages of buildings and half-finished machinery. She didn’t maintain her lead for long, however. The Squirrels soon zipped past, cackles rippling around their light trails.

  Dodging through the light trails, Gore growled and slammed the accelerator. The Magnum Orcus roared in response, surging forward. She glanced back.

  Bones scrambled over to the back and screamed through the engines and scrape of tires on sand, “So Debbie, you ever been in a race before?”

  The dwarf sputtered, “No…”

  “Oh good. You’re gonna
love it. Just gotta give you crash course from the Tao Ein Historically Orc University.”

  “University?”

  “Prison,” laughed Bones as Gore swerved to avoid a light trail. A Squirrel wasn’t so fortunate and smashed right into the ribbon of fire. He couldn’t even scream before his entire body disintegrated. Gore smirked. “Look, so Gore’s job is to drive. She’s kinda good at it so you don’t have to worry. Our job is to make sure there’s a vehicle to drive.”

  “What do you—”

  An explosion echoed behind the Magnum Orcus, not even a foot away, throwing the car to the side. Gore cursed as she drove up a sand bank. She glanced back. Flames licked the side of the Magnum Orcus. And her tusks grinding, Gore then glanced beyond the flames. The Iron Breakers’ Battle Ram barreled through dune after dune after them. Tracer rounds arched through the air.

  “Marvelous,” muttered Gore, turning her attention back to the dunes in front of her. She thumbed the Magnum Orcus’s panel, revealing a mass of buttons and levers. She paused on the button with a bomb symbol. Not yet… “Get rid of those fires, Bones!”

  Her older brother laughed, “HAHA! Now you see what we have to do! Come on, grab some coolant, it’s strapped near the hood!”

  “Forge Master save me,” pleaded Debbie through clattering teeth.

  A hiss burst out from the back and thick fog billowed out from the the side of the Magnum Orcus as Debbie doused the flames. Their relief didn’t live long, however. For not even a second after, the Squirrels flew over the Magnum Orcus from over a dune.

  Arrows pierced the hood of the Magnum Orcus, one stabbing right in front of Gore’s face no more than an inch away. Venom dripped off the steel, sizzling as the green liquid hit Gore’s jacket.

  “Jagding Blight,” muttered Gore, twisting the wheel to the side, “I just got this one from the Charity Temple too.”

  The Magnum Orcus cursed and slammed into a Squirrel, sending the bitch and her bike flying into the sand dune. But before Gore could slam into the rest, the pack of Squirrels just scattered like leaves. A moment later, the Squirrels whooped and converged on the Magnum Orcus from behind. As more arrows slammed into the Magnum Orcus, Gore cursed. Then gunfire erupted from behind her.

  The distinctive pings of the most infamous assault rifle in the world sliced into Gore’s ears.

  “Blight! You’re gonna give me tinnitus! A little warning before you fire would be very nice,” snarled Gore, whipping her head about to glare at Bones. Her brother stood on the back of the Magnum Orcus.

  Clutching the assault rifle next to his hip while Debbie hugged him and made sure he didn’t fly off, her older brother said, “What’s the fun in that? Just cover your pointy ears.”

  “Then I won’t be able to drive, imbecile! And where’d you get a Dakka anyway?” demanded Gore, swerving to avoid another sand dune. She narrowed her eyes, focusing on the horizon. They were running out of beach. Soon the racers would have to turn into the factory.

  “Cousin Kalask,” chirped Bones as he emptied a clip into one of the Squirrels trying to leap over the Magnum Orcus. The elf flew back, bits of the motorcycle raining down.

  “Hey! Don’t waste ammo!” said Gore, twisting the wheel around just in time. A long pole scraped against the side of the Magnum Orcus, sparks flying into the night. One of the Squirrels screamed as she failed to follow. “That shit’s expensive!”

  “Stop being such a party-pooper,” laughed Bones. Gore frowned as the Dakka bounced on the roof of the car and then sniff. She turned around. Glittering dust spilled out into the night from Bone’s wrist. “You gotta live life once in a while.”

  A golden glow engulfed Bones as he levitated maybe an inch off the Magnum Orcus. Grabbing onto his foot, Debbie kept him from flying away.

  “You’ve got to be shitting me,” Gore muttered to herself, shaking her head. “Pixie dust? Come on! Bones!”

  “What?” gasped Bones, falling back on his ass with a booming thud. The entire car shook. “I can handle myself…”

  “Sure…” Turning back to the road, Gore groaned as her hands shook with rage, white bones shining through her flesh. By the Blight, could her brother keep it together for more than a few minutes?

  Apparently not.

  But any fraternal angst Gore might have processed froze as a bright blue blaze roared behind her. She turned around to see the Iron Breaker Battle Ram plow through the Squirrels one after the one, coming straight for the Magnum Orcus.

  Glancing back to the end of the beach, Gore sighed, “Debbie! Can you pick up the gun?”

  “What?” asked the dwarf, her voice on the edge of screeching.

  “Pick up the gun and fire at the Battle Ram!”

  “The what?”

  Gore smacked her forehead and growled, “Do I have to do everything myself?”

  Yes. Yes, she did.

  Smashing the bomb button on the panel, Gore waited for the explosion as a canister of fuel dropped out of the Magnum Orcus’s back. Sparks flew out from one end. A moment later, red splashed across the night sky as a geyser of sand and fire burst out to consume the Battle Ram.

  And did absolutely nothing.

  “You’ve got to be shitting me,” said Gore. “That’s cheating!”

  But the Battle Ram didn’t give a jagd. It accelerated, lowering its horns at the Magnum Orcus.

  “Brace for impact!” roared Gore, flooring the accelerator.

  Too little, too late.

  Metal screeching behind her, Debbie’s screams muffled by the raw rush of impact, Bones’s blurred murmurs lost in Gore’s scream, the Battle Ram slammed into the Magnum Orcus. Before she could do a thing, Gore’s head flew forward. Blood clouded her vision as crunched into the wheel.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  We're jagd

  “Ow…” muttered Gore as she shook her head, wiping away the tears. The roar rumbled within her, the fire erasing the pain emanating from her face. “Jagding ass. Jagd. Bitch. Blight.”

  She glanced behind just as the Battle Ram’s horns sunk into the back of the Magnum Orcus, hooking into the chassis. Only the Magnum Orcus’s speed kept the car from crumpling under the bronze horns. The car’s screams tore into Gore’s heart as she turned away.

  “We’re getting boarders!” barked Bones as Gore pulled out a small pistol from a hidden compartment. She thumbed the safety. “Debbie, get back! I’ll deal with them.”

  Not good enough. Gore needed a plan.

  Her eyes scanned the horizon, glancing at the outline of the factories in the distance. A plan emerged from the dark recesses of her brain. She smiled and said, “Debbie! I need you to unhook us from the Battle Ram!”

  “What?” asked the dwarf. Feet pitter-pattered along the hood of the Magnum Orcus. Then Debbie leaned over the front, her brown hair whipping around her face as she gasped, “What did you say?”

  “You heard me,” hissed Gore, her eyes flaring red, reaching up and grabbing Debbie by her torn shirt. “I know I’m asking a lot of you. But trust me. If we’re gonna have even the slightest chance of making it through tonight, you need to get over there and unhook the car.”

  For the briefest of beats, a cold shiver filled Debbie’s eyes. A shiver that twisted within the glint of red reflection. What Gore found in everyone else but Debbie. Fear.

  Debbie opened her mouth to say something.

  But Bones’s Dakka cut off any conversation, slicing through the air. A moment later, several bodies thudded against the roof of the Magnum Orcus. Gore gulped as the dwarves tumbled off.

  Then she turned back to Debbie

  “You hear me?” demanded Gore, once more. Then her voice turned soft as she whispered, “Please… I trust you.”

  Fear fled from Debbie’s eyes as she nodded and hopped to the back of the Magnum Orcus.

  More bodies thudded against the Magnum Orcus as Gore prepared for her plan. She turned to the panel, to a button specifically labelled, “Don’t touch.” Gore licked her lips. A smile grew.
Been a while since she had really tested the Magnum Orcus’s power.

  “Ready?” Gore called to the back.

  Debbie’s scream answered her.

  Alarms ringing in her head, Gore whipped around. Debbie struggled against another dwarf. The other dwarf howled as Debbie head-butted him, then kicked him in the groin. The little girl was vicious, Gore noted. Without even blinking, Gore jerked the wheel to the side. Just a fraction of an inch. Enough that the Magnum Orcus wobbled for just a moment.

  One dwarf lost its balance and flew off the back. Gore breathed a sigh of relief when a male voice screamed instead.

  “Ready!” cried Debbie. “Do you want me to wait or—”

  “Now! Release it now! Now!” roared Gore as she floored the accelerator and hit the forbidden button, injecting Dragon Blood into the Magnum Orcus’s veins.

  For just a moment, the Magnum Orcus blazed. The demon inside waking for the first time in decades, the Magnum Orcus shook and roared, wheels churning across the sand, whipping flecks of molten glass out from under her tires. Just a moment. That moment was enough for the Magnum Orcus to pull away from the Battle Ram. Gore whipped about the wheel, forcing the Magnum Orcus around a large hill and onto a straight path towards the factory ruins.

  Her companions’ screams echoed in the distance as Gore laughed, clutching the wheel like a lifeline. For a single moment, her heart had pumped nitrite into her soul. For a single moment, her world had brightened. For a single moment, she had been free.

  But other voices’ laughter followed her, resounding from the Battle Ram as Iron Breaker dwarves jeered at the Magnum Orcus’s retreat, and from within Gore’s own skull.

  A savage roar erupting from her lips, she turned the wheel and headed back towards the Battle Ram.

  “Gore! Why are you turning around?” asked Debbie, climbing up to the driver’s seat window, leaning over the edge. Then she recoiled. “By the Forge Master! What the?”

  Blinking through a haze of red, fire burning her body and soul, no thoughts save slaughter raging in her mind, Gore couldn’t answer Debbie. Gore just smiled. The Battle Ram soon emerged into view, charging straight for the factories. Gore pulled the Magnum Orcus alongside the dwarves. Fire rained down around the Magnum Orcus as the dwarves jeered.